Six Months in Spain
Five big lessons as a new immigrant
Did you know that oranges ripen in winter?
I didn’t.
It’s just one of the many things I’ve learned since moving to Valencia, Spain. Today marks six months in this enchanting city.
Since this is a bit of an anniversary, I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned about living abroad. But I’m still learning and don’t have everything figured out, so forgive me if I get something wrong.
Figuring out how to do things on your own in your new country of residence can help you understand how the government operates. Many people online are ready and willing to sell you their services, “white glove” and all. And while that’s all great, if you can’t navigate these processes, it will eventually leave you lost. When we moved our family, we hired someone to answer questions and offer guidance, but we were on our own when it came to gathering paperwork, navigating appointments, and doing life here. As a result, I feel pretty comfortable with most processes, even if it all still feels a bit foreign to me.
Learn the language before you leave your home country – or at least start. Duolingo isn’t enough. It can provide some vocabulary and basic phrases, but you'll understand what I mean when you make that first trip to the grocery store and still don’t understand anything. After four months in Spain, I signed up for a language class with a local language school. That has been far more helpful than a year of Duolingo. But if you must insist on an app, I’ve had good luck with Busuu. I’ve heard Rosetta Stone is great, but the best option is a private tutor through a service like Preply or italki, where you can work with native speakers in nearly any language. I’ve also used DreamingSpanish for immersion. Others swear by Language Transfer. The best tool is the one you will use.
If you want the local experience, don’t move where the other Americans/Brits/Irish/etc. are. Move to an area where locals reside. We accidentally landed in an area of Valencia that isn’t populated by many English speakers. It has been the best thing for learning Spanish and experiencing life like the Spanish do. If we hear English on the street or in a store, our heads turn quickly because we don’t hear it much here. However, if we wander over to the city center, we hear a lot of English, which is fine, but it isn’t really why we moved here. Granted, finding a community of friends would probably be easier, but for now, this suits us and our goals.
When your kids don’t have their favorite foods at their fingertips, they will learn to try new foods. Admittedly, our kids are picky eaters. One is pickier than the other, but this was a neverending frustration for us in the U.S. I catered to it to a degree (I can admit when I’m wrong) because the fight (and tears) often wasn’t worth it. Their school here in Spain has mandatory school lunches – no packing – which means if they don’t eat lunch at school, they don’t eat until they get home. Guess what? You will try something new when you don’t have any other options. And that’s what happened. Their diets have greatly expanded by living in Spain. To be fair, the school lunches here sometimes look like a gourmet meal to me, so I’m sure that makes it easier to try something new.
You are a guest in your new country. You didn’t grow up here. You are probably learning the language. You don’t know the customs. Act like a guest. Acknowledge that you don’t know everything (or maybe anything). A little humility goes a long way when you need help from someone who knows how things work.
In March 2007, during our first European trip, Will and I were eating at a café directly across from the Louvre in Paris, France. As we finished ordering – me using my best college French – we heard a loud voice behind us. We turned to see a big, burly man in a Texas Longhorns sweatshirt pointing at a dessert cart. “We’ll have two o’ ‘em.” Not a “please” or “thank you” anywhere near his sentence. No attempt to speak French – even to thank the server. I wanted to melt through the floor. I was trying so hard to be respectful, and yet, here was this man shamelessly making no attempt.
Be the person who tries, and I promise you will receive much better treatment than the ones who don’t. We’ve seen it time and time again. Every time we use our meager Spanish, we are rewarded with body language and slower speech so that we can understand, or the person switches completely to English. That man in the Longhorns sweatshirt has lived rent-free in our heads for almost 20 years, partially because it was a good laugh and partially because it reminded us what kind of travelers we want to be.
Six months in, we’ve learned a lot. But we have a lot more to learn.