Spain's Little Surprises
How this country can shock and delight
Growing up, I could have pointed to Spain on a map, but France was where I really wanted to go. I distinctly remember getting one of those Scholastic book flyers, spotting a French-English dictionary, and excitedly asking my mom to order it for me. The idea of France appealed to me–its far-flung locale, the beautiful sound of the spoken language, and, for a fourth-grader, the Eiffel Tower.
Years later, I studied French for all four years of high school and two more years in college. I wanted nothing more than to speak (be?) French.
People were surprised when they heard our family moved to Spain–but not as surprised as I had anticipated. “Spain? Really? I would’ve guessed France or Ireland.”
Someone on Instagram recently suggested I write a post about everything that has surprised me about Spain since we moved. Did I have any misconceptions about this place I’ve fallen in love with? It’s a great question, and it caused me to pause and think. So, in no particular order, here we go:
Friendliness
No matter where you are in Europe, you’re supposed to adhere to a certain level of politesse–an unspoken social contract. These are things like saying hello in that country’s language as you enter a store, wishing your neighbor a good day in the elevator as you part ways, and offering a “see you later” to the cashier who checks you out at the supermarket. Not offering these little gestures is seen as rude or uncouth, whereas in the United States, we often go out of our way to avoid interactions. (Self-checkouts, anyone?)
Believe it or not, I looked forward to these things as we settled into this new society. I appreciate this gentle connection with others several times a day.
Life by the sea
None of the four of us have ever lived by water, much less a sea. So much of the culture here in Valencia revolves around the water in the form of sports, food, and its laid-back attitude. This is also true in much of Spain, albeit in coastal areas. Madrid, for example, has a more cosmopolitan, New York-ish feel. It’s a city that never sleeps. And after spending so many years hustling and grinding to “make it” in the States, we are very much enjoying this chill vibe.
Truthfully, we are rarely at the beach, although we all love that it’s only a 20-minute tram ride away. And its influence seeps into every aspect of Valencia.
Grocery shopping
Except for a couple of years in Chicago, my entire life was spent in the Southern U.S. If you’re from the South, you are probably familiar with the Publix grocery chain. The stores are beautifully designed, featuring a bakery, deli, butcher, and more. They are probably the closest comparison to a Spanish supermarket, but there are differences.
Most people here visit the market every day. This is a cadence we’ve had to make grand adjustments to as Americans. Even now, five months in, we still can’t manage to get to the store more than a couple of times a week, and the haul we drag over to the cashier probably makes them sigh internally. And it’s probably comic gold watching the cashier chuck the items down the belt at us as we try to keep up with the pace, throwing items in our bags and cart as fast as we can to get out of the way.
Grocery stores are usually closed on Sunday, although the schedule changes depending on the time of year and whether the store is in a shopping mall. So, we’ve had to learn another lesson: Plan ahead, or you won’t have snacks for the kids come Monday morning.
Car culture (or the lack thereof)
Neither Will nor I have a Spanish driver’s license, and when we first got here, we assumed we wouldn’t pursue one. However, the longer we’ve been here, the more we realize a license will come in handy, so Will is studying to take the written and driving tests. I’m not yet sure if I will do the same.
A car isn’t a requirement to get around. Public transit in Valencia is a wonder to behold, with trams, buses, trains, and scooter and bike rentals at our disposal. But to get out into the more rural areas and explore, a car can get you there much faster.
Every Spanish family does not have a car, but I’m finding that many do, and it does make life easier in some ways. It can cut a 45-minute public transit ride to one area of town down to 15 minutes. Still, I enjoy having public transit available and not sitting in traffic for hours on end. I felt like I spent half my life in the car in the States.
Language
Spanish is indeed hard to learn as an adult. The longer we’re here, the easier it gets because repetition and immersion are two of the best ways to learn. However, some things are so much harder when you don’t speak the language well. I cannot emphasize this enough. If you’ve ever contemplated moving to another country, spending too much time working on the language is not possible.
Sure, you’ll encounter many people who speak English, but it greatly limits your interactions. It’s also respectful as a guest in that country to attempt to communicate in their language. When we begin communicating with someone in Spanish, they often switch to English when they see that we are trying–even when they believe their English is bad. You cannot integrate into a new culture if you don’t try to learn the native language. Period. End of.
You’re not a tourist who can get by with a few polite words and phrases. You’ll have to communicate with doctors, pharmacists, bureaucrats, neighbors, grocery store workers, order at restaurants, and much more. The Spanish people are amazing and will make every effort to help (99% of the time) but don’t be that guy who can’t be bothered to put forth any effort.
We somewhat underestimated the importance of the language piece, but we quickly had our expectations reset–and rightfully so. In fairness to myself, though, I’d been working on my Spanish regularly with Duolingo as soon as we began considering moving here. It helped give me a vocabulary to work with but lacks in the speaking skills department.
Spain will continue to surprise and delight me. It has a beautiful culture and warm and inviting people. I am getting to know myself and them just a little bit better every day.