What We Gave Up to Move to Spain

A Lesson in Letting Go

Photo by Drew Perales on Unsplash

A year ago today, we landed in Raleigh, North Carolina, ready to begin the second stage of our international move from the U.S. to Spain.

We’d already started selling off our belongings – everything from houseplants to power tools. After months of research, I knew one thing for sure: the less we brought, the better. We weren’t shipping anything. Everything we wanted to take had to fit in our suitcases.

What none of us seems to realize as we collect “stuff” along the highways of our lives is how very little we need to live.

When my mom passed away, my siblings and I sorted through her belongings: clothes from the 1990s, antiques, paperwork – so many things that meant something to her, but little to anyone else. It was an entire lifetime of “stuff” that she valued in one way or another. And yet, to myself and my siblings, most of it held little meaning and would be sold, donated, or thrown away. We, of course, kept a few things, but for the most part, they were only important to our mom.

It’s the same for all of us. We hold onto little treasures, hoping to pass them down, when the truth is that most will be underappreciated or misunderstood. Humans are collectors – cars, tools, art, books, or ceramic figurines. These items become markers of time in our lives – a tangible memory – and we are hesitant to release that piece of our history.

Emptying a five-bedroom, four-bathroom home was painful. It was the “American dream” we’d spent our adult lives building. As each item left the house, I felt little pangs of sorrow – my tangible memories leaving their place of belonging.

But we wanted to move to Spain more than we wanted the “stuff.”

By the time all was said and done, everything that remained from years of accumulation fit into my RAV4 (Will’s car was sold) and a rental minivan. We filled a tiny 10x5 storage unit with a couple of pieces of furniture and some sentimental items. There would still be more to shed before our final day in the U.S. We were taking more to North Carolina than could go to Spain with us because we still had to spend an entire summer in the U.S., and with kids, there are some things you just want to have on hand.

You can live with far less than you think. The constant barrage of marketing in the U.S. convinces us we need more, always more. None of us is immune. That drive is part of what makes the U.S. dynamic, but it also fuels the exhausting “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality.

Today, we live in about 97m² (~1,000 square feet). Our house in Tennessee was ~2,600 square feet. Could we do with more space here in Spain? Sure. Do we need it? Not really. It’s become a “nice to have” rather than a “must have.” It’s also a lesson in humility and understanding what we need to live comfortably, rather than collecting “stuff” for the sake of collecting it. We carefully evaluate everything that comes into our apartment because space is at a premium. We’ve learned to live more intentionally – especially when it comes to buying new things.

At the end of the day, I’d like to have just a bit more space. We’re a family of four with kids who are quickly becoming teenagers. Still, we’re doing all right just the way we are.